‘Breaking Dawn’ breaking box office

Published November 30, 2011, in MSUM’s, The Advocate

This Thanksgiving, the box office burst its buttons with extra cash as Summit Entertainment’s “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1” made nearly $500 million worldwide.

The theaters were also filled for its midnight, Nov. 18 premiere. Fargo followed this trend. Die-hard followers, mainly made up of women whose loyalty drove them to the late showing, packed nine of the 14 theaters at West Acres 14 Cinema with barely a seat left empty.

I admit it. I am one of the many loyal fans who find enjoyment from the bad acting and cheesy scenes provided. My friend Melanie and I drove to the midnight showing, arriving an hour ahead of time, unlike most of the other women in attendance, who had been there for hours suffering in the cold. Yes, there were quite a few men, but let’s be honest: This type of movie generally attracts more women.

Armed with warm clothing and our Snuggies, Melanie and I forced ourselves to leave our warm apartment into the November chill because of tradition (we’ve made it to every “Twilight” premiere). We expected to wait in the bitter cold for the doors to open, as in previous years. But, the new Fargo “Twilight” location, which transferred from Cinema 10 to West Acres 14 Cinema, had already let Twi-hards in by the time we arrived (a bit after 11 p.m.)

However, we paid the price for not showing up earlier. The front row was our only option.

Though everything looked distorted from the close-up view, we managed to get through the 117-minute movie without getting a migraine or having a seizure.

As predicted, yells, hoots and hollers were made when Taylor Lautner ripped his shirt off. The director, Bill Condon, wasted no time to rev up his rambunctious audience since they made sure to place this in the opening scene.

I didn’t know it was possible to literally cringe from corniness until I saw the beginning scenes of “Breaking Dawn – Part 1.” It actually made me angry that the director would’ve allowed for such a terribly orchestrated music selection to be used for anything other than a Hallmark or Lifetime original.

The corniness continued with the graphics. Though some moments were quite acceptable, many wolf, excuse me, werewolf moments made me feel like I was watching an animated film about angry, talking canines.

Kristen Stewart, one of the most untalented famous actresses, continues to bite her lips and make pained facial expressions. Though her acting has greatly improved since the first “Twilight” installment, K-Stew still has a long way to go before she can really be worthy of stardom.

WARNING: SPOILER (if you haven’t read the books).  There is one scene where Stewart masters her part: when she’s lying down and playing dead. All kidding aside, this was her most convincing role.

All in all, be prepared for at least a little disappointment. Granted, I have always found it more entertaining to find the flaws in these productions than to solely enjoy the complicated lives of vampire, human and werewolf love triangles, so perhaps other long-time fans have found “Breaking Dawn” more satisfying.

The next and last “Twilight Saga” premiere, “Breaking Dawn – Part 2,” is set for Nov. 16, 2012. Let the torturous entertainment continue.



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