The season of merry little nothings

Published December 7, 2011, in MSUM’s, The Advocate

Thanks to irrational people who like to make big deals out of everything, we can now say the once innocent and loving phrase, “Merry Christmas” as a controversial statement while perhaps covering our heads in case we need to run for cover.

Whether you’re a Christian or not, you should be able to realize the phrase “Merry Christmas” is a tiding meant to be sweet and kind, wishing a merry yuletide instead of a Christmas filled with loneliness and depression for your neighbors. “Have a good one” doesn’t exactly scream hope and holiday bliss.

As usual, small groups of extremists have tried brain-washing the country and even the world into thinking “Merry Christmas” is a fanatical Christian spell wreaking havoc on the minds of everyone as they push their religion on this unbelieving country. Oh, but didn’t you know? Everything a Christian says or stands by is tainted with religious propaganda and is a threat to civilization. Or, at least, that’s what they want you to believe.

This time of year is a time for giving – gifts, love, care, you name it. Let’s not forget that Christian organizations are doing more good and donate more money and help than any other kind of charity on this green (and sometimes snow-covered) earth. So, before you go on a rampage about the corruption of the church, etc., stop yourself. Save it for another season. I’m sure Easter is another touchy time for you.

Don’t jump on the sleigh of stupidity before you ask yourself this simple question: Is there any real harm in wishing goodwill towards mankind?

Sadly, many delusional business corporations and store managers have tried to ban the caring phrase from being uttered by employees. In 2005, Target banned those two special words from appearing anywhere in their advertising and stores. Wal-Mart was also leery of using “Merry Christmas” in slogans and advertising. Soon afterward, business started dropping rapidly for both companies and the American Family Association began petitioning against their foul marketing decisions. Both corporations received so many complaints they made statements saying they would begin the usage of “Christmas” once again.

With an endless list of things that could be said to offend someone, I highly doubt wishing someone well during Christmastime is going to really boil their blood. If it does, they have other issues that need to be taken care of before they tackle an unassuming Salvation Army bell ringer.

Though the Christmas season is now filled with OCD (Obsessive Consumerism Disorder) and may be “a poor excuse for picking a man’s pocket,” you are not reinforcing these negatives by uttering these kind words.

Notice that no one is trying to ban phrases like “Happy Hanukkah” or “Happy Thanksgiving.” Yes, I realize that people can say “Happy Holidays” with the intent of bundling Christmas and New Year’s together. That’s just fine, but don’t use it in lieu of saying what you really mean this Christmas season for fear of offending. Don’t be such a phrase activist. Go drink some eggnog and watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” before your cheerometer runs dry.

Christmas is Christmas. Just admit it. If you don’t want to celebrate “Christmas,” then don’t. Don’t celebrate any part of it. No gifts, no Christmas trees, no church services, no special meals. Don’t spoil it for the rest of us, though. Unless you’re willing to admit that it is Christmastime and not just any old holiday, go sit in a dark corner and find another issue to fuss about and leave the joy and glad tidings to us.

Before I bid this semester adieu, I must wish you all a very merry Christmas.



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