College-life crisis: It happens to everyone

I wrote this personal post in February. A lot has changed since then, so it’s fun to read this semi-depressing message. Hahahah.

Do I leap? Do I jump over the chasm that could potentially plummet two inches or 1,000 feet?

With so many life metaphors already written, you’d think we’d have it figured out that we need to take “chances” every once in a blue moon in order to get more out of life.  

To get more out of life. To get more out of life? Do we even know what it’s been offering?! How many opportunities have we not taken!?

I’m sick of talking about the road less traveled, the journey unknown and the fork in the road. 

As I eat my goat yogurt and contemplate what I should do next (in life, not how I should be doing more homework right now), I think of my upcoming college graduation (finally) in May, how I’ll probably have to find a roommate again (solely due to money matters), and potential heartbreak — the usual stuff everyone thinks about.

It’s the age of great change, but really, you never know where you’ll be in five months. Maybe I’ll be the janitor of one, grungy porta potty, located in a landfill.  

I try to be a little more optimistic than that, but optimism has to be forced sometimes. It must become habitual.  

If I’d just be a good little girl and stop trying to control and predict my future, I’d have an easier time of it, which is what God keeps trying to remind me. When I’m trusting God and thankful for everything in my path, I am at peace and joyful, even during mundane, every-day tasks. 

Since I’m a stupid human, I keep going back to predicting what will happen. It starts off as being fun —  imagining where I’ll be, what I’ll become, how awesome I’ll feel after sticking to this diet lifestyle change, who I’ll be with — but it ends up being a catastrophe — WHERE WILL I BE, WHAT WILL I BECOME, WHAT IF I ALWAYS FEEL TERRIBLE, WHO WILL I BE WITH, IF ANYONE!?!?

Chill, Meghan.

I’m always so worried I’ll mess it all up. That’s why I play the game of life pretty safely — too safely, sometimes. I want to do everything correctly.

So, for tonight, I’m going to relax. It’s a decision. I’m going to drink some water, read more American Lit. for class, do some work-related stuff and read God’s Word before hitting the proverbial hay (in the non-violent manner, of course). 


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